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November 18, 2008

When Inflation Comes a-Knockin'
by The Mogambo Guru

"Buy gold, silver and oil as fast as you can, you morons, or die a horrible death by inflation like the people of Zimbabwe!"

Mike Shedlock of globaleconomicanalysis.blogspot.com writes that I - and people like me, who are expecting inflation - are a bunch of idiots, which is unfortunately true about me, and I am grateful that my Natural Mogambo Stupidity (NMS) is his only complaint about me. I only wish that others were equally restrained in their criticism, as there is apparently no end to either my personal shortcomings or their delight in pointing them out.

He writes, thankfully not mentioning me by name, "You would think that inflationistas would have caught on. But they haven't. Nor will they. And articles about shrinking day care, collapsing retail sales, rising unemployment, record foreclosures, massive credit card defaults, bankrupt insurers, collapsing auto sales, sinking commercial real estate, plunging commodity prices, and dozens of other things will not change their minds either, including an implosion in China."

I have to admit that he is right, as my wife and kids will happily tell you that I never change, except to get worse. On the other hand, I steadfastly say that neither the Federal Reserve, nor the federal government, are going to sit still when people are whining about "shrinking day care, collapsing retail sales, rising unemployment, record foreclosures, massive credit card defaults, bankrupt insurers, collapsing auto sales, sinking commercial real estate, plunging commodity prices, and dozens of other things" when they have a fiat currency that they can instantly create, with unlimited abandon, which they promised to do, will do, and are already doing.

Thus, with a staggering, unbelievable amount of money being created, these and many more deflationary problems will soon be just a quaint memory as voluntary fiscal and monetary restraints around the world are being thrown wholesale into the dumpster even as we speak, and humongous "economic stimulus plans" financed by massive increases in fiat money are being trotted out across the globe, all meaning that inflation will rise and rise.

As if to prove me right, the article went on to note that Professor Steve Hanke, formerly with Credit Suisse and now a senior fellow at the Cato Institute in the United States, said that this month, "Zimbabwe's annual inflation had soared to 2.79 quintillion percent", which is the inevitable result of the moron government of Zimbabwe spending decades literally printing all the paper money that makes such inflation possible!

In case you were wondering, "a quintillion is a figure with 18 zeroes and is a rung above a quadrillion", which I will helpfully write out as 2,790,000,000,000,000,000%!!!!!

If you are a Junior Mogambo Ranger (JMR), then you need no explanation as to why I included five exclamation points at the end of that sentence, which indicates some extreme significance.

But even if you are NOT a JMR, then you should still need no explanation as to the significance of inflation that is measured in quintillions of percent, or even inflation measured in quadrillions of percent, or inflation measured in trillions of percent, or inflation measured in billions of percent, or inflation measured in millions of percent, or inflation measured in thousands of percent, or inflation measured in hundreds of percent, or inflation measured in tens of percent, or Any Freaking Inflation At All (AFIAA) that is more than zero, because what it means is that Bad, Bad Times (BBT) are a-coming as all of this money starts chasing a static supply of goods and services and people get Very, Very Upset (VVU).

And besides the fact that inflation in the USA is already running between about 5% and 10% (depending on your source), it is going to get worse and worse, and thus a BBT and a VVU are a-coming, which is why you need gold, silver and oil.

And the fact that they have been sold off to (as is theorized) raise cash and thus drive their prices to Laughably Low Levels (LLL), should have you in a buying frenzy, gobbling up as much of each as you can, and then going around to your stupid neighbors and ringing, ringing, ringing their doorbells and knocking on their doors, and then kicking their damned doors over and over because you can hear them in there whispering to each other, "Shut up or he'll hear you!" and so you yell out, "Buy gold, silver and oil as fast as you can, you morons, or die a horrible death by inflation like the people of Zimbabwe!"

But as usual, they don't buy gold, silver and oil, and they don't even answer the door. Don't you make that mistake!

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Richard Daughty, the angriest guy in economics
The Mogambo Guru

Richard Daughty (Mogambo Guru) is general partner and COO for Smith Consultant Group, serving the financial and medical communities, and the writer/publisher of the Mogambo Guru economic newsletter, an avocational exercise to better heap disrespect on those who desperately deserve it. The Mogambo Guru is quoted frequently in Barron's, The Daily Reckoning, and other fine publications.

Copyright © 2005-2009 Richard Daughty

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