"An apple a day may keep the doctor away, as the saying goes, but you had better not say that anymore, either, because Big Pharma has yet to invent a drug that emulates apples, either!"

The blast-proof doors of the Mogambo Fortified Bunker Of Blessed Solitude (MFBOBS) were not able to muffle the sound of my screams of anguish when I read that the Producer Price Index in January showed prices at the wholesale level rising 1% for the month, and that was just for January alone!

Even worse, over the past 12 months, prices rose by 7.4%! This was, they say, "the biggest one-year rise in 26 years", which is, if you are 26 years old, the highest in your freaking life. And if you are simultaneously 26 years old and a beautiful girl with self-esteem low enough to be seduced by a disgusting man old enough to be your grandfather, then let me add, "Hello, cutie-pie! My name is Mogambo! Want to go for a ride in my car?"

Even more horrifying, mostly because my throat was sore from all my screaming, was the Financial Times report that "The Reuters/Jeffries CRB spot index, a historic global benchmark that tracks the price of commodities such as crude oil, copper, corn and coffee, jumped 12 percent in February, its biggest monthly gain since 1974", and it "gained 15.2 percent during January and February, the strongest rise in any year since 1956." 1956! The most price inflation in 52 freaking years!

And inflation is creeping up everywhere, and JMR David K. asks, "Have you noticed that the 'inflation adjusted' price of gold to match the '80s high keeps getting higher and higher? It used to be $2,000 to match the equivalent price, now it's $2,300." The embarrassing truth is that I did not notice, but I constantly note that the "inflation-adjusted prices" of everything are going up, which they are because the dollar is going down in purchasing power, which is because the Federal Reserve is creating so much money and credit, which is impoverishing everybody whose incomes are not going up, like me, which explains why I drink so much, which in turn explains why I am surly and incoherent most of the time.

And lest we forget that higher prices are the result of the dollar falling in buying power, let me introduce Martin Weiss of MoneyandMarkets.com, who says, "with inflation already surging and the dollar already plunging, it's now likely that their grab-bag of housing market bailouts, stimulus packages and interest-rate cuts are likely to accomplish little more than push the dollar over the brink, drive commodity prices through the roof, propel inflation beyond control and, ultimately, deepen the crisis." Damn! He's right! It looks like it's time for another drinkie-poo!

I hadn't even started putting the bottle to my slobbery lips as a prelude to glug, glug, glug before Jack Crooks, also at MoneyandMarkets.com, looks (like I do) at history and concludes that "there is ALWAYS a limit to the policy of never-ending credit expansion. And history has told us that when this limit is reached, it always ends badly."

And it will continue to end badly, as we can clearly see from the Bloomberg.com report that Charles Evans, president of the Federal Reserve Bank of Chicago, said, "officials can make clear their commitment to stable prices by 'promptly' reversing interest-rate cuts when 'insurance' against growth risks is no longer needed." Hahahahahaha!

This is beyond laughable, particularly since there has not been a moment in the last 21 freaking years when the Federal Reserve has not been providing "insurance" against a lack of growth! Hahahaha!

And lowlife morons like this are everywhere, as we learn from hsibaltimore.com that "the FDA announced a permanent injunction against two food companies that were making claims such as: 'Chemicals found in cherries may help fight diabetes'" as the result of two different studies that have shown that "anthocyanins (antioxidant compounds found in tart cherries) may help reduce the risk of type 2 diabetes. But the FDA has ordered the companies to stop making the claims about cherries 'until the products are approved by the FDA as new drugs'" Hahaha! An apple a day may keep the doctor away, as the saying goes, but you had better not say that anymore, either, because Big Pharma has yet to invent a drug that emulates apples, either!

But the incidence of morons and blowhard halfwits is not confined to the Fed or the FDA, as we learn from Geocraft.com, which says "President Clinton and others cite a letter signed by 2600 scientists that global warming will have catastrophic effects on humanity. Thanks to Citizens for a Sound Economy, we know now that fewer than 10% of these 'scientists' know anything about climate. Among the signers: a plastic surgeon, two landscape architects, a hotel administrator, a gynecologist, seven sociologists, a linguist, and a practitioner of traditional Chinese medicine."

And speaking of morons in government, the mouth-breathing lowlifes in Congress (except Ron Paul) don't care that their irresponsible spending and their irresponsible lack of supervision of the Federal Reserve has produced so much inflation that it has destroyed the value of the coins, and now HuffingtonPost.com reports that, "The administration is pushing an effort that would give the government the authority to change the metal content of all the nation's coins as a way to save money. That proposal, which was introduced in Congress last year, was prompted by the sharp jump in the price of copper and other metals in recent years." Hahaha!

I laugh aloud at the incompetence, as instead of stopping the damned Federal Reserve from producing all the money that produces all the inflation that makes the metal in coins worth more than the face value of the coins, they want to get rid of the metal in the coins! Hahahaha!

In case you were wondering who these insouciant, lowlife Congressional losers are, their names are Reps. Barney Frank, D-Mass., Luis Gutierrez, D-Ill., Sens. Ken Salazar, D-Colo., and Wayne Allard, R-Colo.

It's enough to make you scream! Arrrggghhh! See? Don't say you weren't warned about Random Mogambo Screaming (RMS). And the dulcet tones of an outraged lunatic are the best part of the whole mess, too. We're freaking doomed!

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