No Rest for the Unemployed

By: The Mogambo Guru | Tue, Dec 16, 2008
Print Email

"Oddly enough, there is no statistical offset for people like me, who are the nation's over-employed, which is to say we are chronically lazy, worthless and undependable louts who SHOULD be unemployed, but who actually have jobs!"

The Bureau of Labor Statistics of the U.S. Department of Labor reported that nonfarm payrolls fell by a whopping 533,000 jobs in November, and the official government-approved unemployment rate rose from 6.5 to 6.7%.

There is more New Bad News (NBN) contained in November's drop in payroll employment because, "Job losses were large and widespread across the major industry sectors in November."

The New Bad News (NBN) to me personally is that this means that if I get fired again, then another job will be that much harder to find, especially since my job skills are apparently substandard, as I father from my current boss being sure that she can train a monkey to do my job and, as she said, "It will probably have better personal hygiene, too!"

Since experience has shown that I am not a "people person", service industry jobs are especially difficult for me, and there always comes a time when I finally snap and I say, in a voice that gets louder and louder until I am shrieking, "I'm not going to ask if you want fries with that! You shouldn't have any fries, because you are another big fat pig who spent all your money on fatty foods and sugared drinks instead of putting some money into gold and silver to protect yourself from the debasement of the purchasing power of the money thanks to the Federal Reserve creating so damned much money and credit to fuel doomed booms and a cancerous growth of government! And yet you want to talk to me about how you want some stupid fried potatoes, you moron? Hahahaha!"

Anyway, the report does not actually mention me by name or even wish me good luck in getting another job, but farther down in the report we find that "Total Unemployed, plus all marginally attached workers, plus total employed part time for economic reasons, as a percent of the civilian labor force plus all marginally attached workers", zoomed to 12.5%! It's worse than I thought!

Personally, I am not sure how to interpret this exactly, but I know two things. For one, unemployment figures have never been this bad, as far as I know without doing any research of any kind; and secondly, the laughable CES Birth-Death Model figured that, perhaps by magic, 30,000 new jobs were created in November! Hahaha!

Part of the explanation could be that, as John Crudele of the NY Post explains, "Right now, the unemployment rate would be more than twice as bad if you go back to the way this figure used to be calculated" back in 1994 when "the Clinton White House decided that the unemployment rate needed to be modernized."

And one of the things they did was decide that from now on, "anyone who had been out of work for at least a year was no longer counted as unemployed - they were just too lazy and discouraged to find work"! Hahaha!

Oddly enough, there is no statistical offset for people like me, who are the nation's over-employed, which is to say we are chronically lazy, worthless and undependable louts who SHOULD be unemployed, but who actually have jobs!

The news media is happily parroting the official government pronouncements and those of its minions while ignoring my tragic story of love lost, and so they all join together to report that unemployment is 6.7%, while just up the street, the McKinsey Global Institute says that it estimates that the unemployment rate in the United States is actually 16.25%, and here's John Williams at putting it at 16.5%!

So it looks like a lot of people are getting fired, but on the other hand, government payrolls went up again, for the zillionth month in a row, this time by another 7,000 workers, bringing the total to a staggering 22.5 million government workers out of a total 144.2 million official jobs in the whole freaking country, which of course does not count the number of new prostitutes and professional thieves that have sprung up in response to financial devastation. So maybe the 30,000 new jobs assumed in the CES Birth-Death Model in actually pretty close! Hahaha!

Welcome to the hell of inflation!

P.S. To get The Daily Reckoning sent directly to your inbox, sign up for our free email newsletter, or if you prefer to use RSS, subscribe to the Daily Reckoning RSS feed.



The Mogambo Guru

Author: The Mogambo Guru

Richard Daughty, the angriest guy in economics
The Mogambo Guru

The Mogambo Guru

Richard Daughty (Mogambo Guru) is general partner and COO for Smith Consultant Group, serving the financial and medical communities, and the writer/publisher of the Mogambo Guru economic newsletter, an avocational exercise to better heap disrespect on those who desperately deserve it. The Mogambo Guru is quoted frequently in Barron's, The Daily Reckoning, and other fine publications.

Copyright © 2005-2011 Richard Daughty

All Images, XHTML Renderings, and Source Code Copyright ©