Conspiracy Theories 2008: Where are they now?

By: Marygwen Dungan | Fri, Apr 10, 2009
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Been busy packing my bug-out-bag, readying the remote retreat and stocking up on 100 Things that Disappear First. While we're waitin' on 1Q09 earnings, howz about a review of the some of last year's conspiracy theories and a look at where they are now.

You'll remember reports of new, family-oriented prison camps being built around the US; reports that battle-hardened troops brought back from Iraq would be stationed in cities throughout the country; that fighter planes were flying between skyscraper canyons in those cities; 500,000 plastic coffins were being stored in Atlanta, home of the CDC; plans to supplant the US dollar with a North American currency, which was superseded by plans for a NWO currency; complete loss of faith in the US along with worldwide financial collapse; and natural disasters of biblical proportions indicating the end of times.

Old news now perhaps, but they sure sounded like conspiracy theories at the time.

Then there's this one, which is still circulating and has more traction than UFOs. It's the most audacious of them all and it was, and continues to be, that we've hit the bottom. The bottom of what and defined how you ask? The bottom of everything -- Peak Bottom -- defined by any financial-performance metric whatsoever, no matter how insignificant, even as small as a Kudlow mustard seed. And here's what I think of this one -- to I quote The Mogambo Guru, although not necessarily on this subject -- hahahahahaha.

Camping, FEMA Style

This is government at its best. I'm serious. Jobs were created and money was saved by flipping WWII Japanese-American remote retreats and repurposing a few FEMA shelters to create new, family-style, involuntary housing facilities. So now you know where the recent uptick in multi-family construction permits and government employment came from.

At least some of the campers will be refugees from the Mexican-American drug wars. Troops of both countries have been amassing at the border for some time. And, Dubya's back in Texas, one of the hot spots, a whoopin' and a hollerin' to "Bring them on!" We know how that worked out the last time. Hahahahahaha (hat tip to TMG).

Concentration, internment, or armed-guarded human enclosures by whatever name are the kind of places where there's always room for one more. This summer's rioters (see below) will need involuntary accommodations and, who knows, the country could be called upon again to further victimize natural-disaster survivors, as was the case after Katrina.

Battle Stations in a City near You

War-hardened troops from Iraq reassigned for duty on US soil? Is this constitutional? What's the constitution these days anyway; it's a bit late to worry about that now. Troops have been at their new battle stations in US cities for months. According to the latest from the Army Times, the original plan for 20,000 will be increased to as many as 80,000.

Troops at the border, troops in the cities, and fighter pilots overhead -- bet you think it's to foil the Mexican drug gangs, right? No, the army states flat out that troops are being "readied to deal with what could be widespread civil disorder resulting from an 'unforeseen economic collapse' or 'loss of a functional political and legal order." Something to keep in mind as you plan your summer vacation this year.

Related, are reports around the country of searches and/or drills conducted jointly by local law enforcement and other uniformed personnel such as members of the National Guard and federal agencies including the Bureau of Alcohol, Firearms and Tobacco and FBI. So far, tickets have been issued and locals have been traumatised. It's something we'll have to get used to, which is the point, after all.

Oh, and Blackwater got kicked out of Iraq and they're back too.

End of Times

I'm no biblical scholar or even a church goer for that matter, but I vaguely remember something about pestilence, fire, earthquakes, floods and the like as milestones along the way to the Apocalypse, the Rapture, TEOTWAWKI or, at the very least, when TSHTF.

Bird Flu has been identified in Kentucky over the last few days and there is increased risk of West Nile virus in stagnant swimming pools of foreclosed homes; still, 500,000 plastic coffins seem like a lot. They killed the birds and all you need is some DEET for the WNV. Lately, volcanoes all over the place have been a'rupting and a'spewing; earthquakes just missed the Vatican, or were in the same country at least; floods -- lots of floods; and all manner of other natural disasters including no sun spots for what seems like forever. Interpretation of these phenomena rests on the same logic as "it's a recession if you have a job; if you've lost your job, it's a depression." If you lived in New Orleans, Indonesia, are Italian, or haven't cleaned your pool lately, it's the end of times. Especially if you are now dead.*

The Chipping of America

Perhaps you've chipped your pets, farm animals, kids and are using one to plug the hole in your head. New cars are being equipped with GPS chips and old cars will be retrofitted with them; they've been in trucks for some time to track and tax road usage. Chips are all the better to see you with, to trace you with and, ultimately, some think, to tax you with.

Chips are already in homes in California. They are implanted in thermostats to regulate energy use and cannot be overridden by the homeowner. Obama wants to expand this program across the country. Too hot? Too cold? Too bad.

What's Left

McCain showed us his, but Obama has not. Is our president a foreigner, a Muslim or Muslim sympathizer and about to offer up the US to the NWO? And why did he perform the kowtow for the king of Saudi Arabia? Should we be scared, really scared?

Last, but not least, there're the UFOs, the conspiracy theory that keeps giving. Believers must be thinking, what, the anal probes weren't enough; what's an extra-terrestrial got to do to get some respect? Well, if the Grand Archdruid is sceptical of 95% of the evidence, and he is, then I will cling to the 5% chance that the spaceship is coming.

*OT: According to the FBI, 9% of subprime mortgagees were dead when the mortgage was made. I'm wondering: at what point in the process were they dead and when did they know they were dead. Like so much else these days, we may never know.

 


 

Author: Marygwen Dungan

Marygwen Dungan

Marygwen has worked in banking and securities for 25+ years. Her first job after the University of PA undergrad and Wharton grad was as an investment banker at Paine Webber. After a stint in international commercial banking, MG returned to Wall St. as a risk-arbitrage sales trader, initially working for Merrill Lynch.

For the last ten years MG has been a supervisory analyst and editor of institutional equity and economic research for several multi-national financial firms including Banco Santander, Credit Lyonnais and Fox-Pitt, Kelton, a subsidiary of SwissRe. She currently writes for BlownMortgage and contributes to other top-rated blogs. Personal interests include historic restoration and organic farming.

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