Your Personal Bailout - a G.I.F.T.

By: GE Christenson | Mon, Nov 26, 2012
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(DRAFT - not for release until late December 2012 pending Congressional approval!)

Dear (Insert name of taxpayer from database here):

As you know, we are living in trying and uncertain times. Our economy has been in the worst slump since the 1930s. To counter the slump, the U.S. Treasury Department and the Federal Reserve are pumping unprecedented amounts of money, both borrowed and printed, into the economy. The total to date for bailouts, outright purchases, "loans," "investments," and guarantees exceeds $16 Trillion, with much more on the way.

We at the Department of Equal Financial Opportunity understand that not everyone agrees with these monetary stimulus efforts that have been directed primarily toward the banking sector and other financial service corporations. We believe that the U.S. Congress is concerned that the bailout money is not reaching the individual taxpayers of the United States.

To help address these concerns, the Department of Equal Financial Opportunity has proposed legislation that we hope Congress will pass - the Government Income For Taxpayers Act, which we refer to as the GIFT Act. The Department of Equal Financial Opportunity is firmly committed to a national policy of creating wealth and prosperity through increased debt and deficit spending.

According to your past tax returns, you could be eligible for a PERSONAL BAILOUT under the Congressional GIFT Act. If Congress and the President approve the GIFT Act, you can anticipate your personal bailout check on or about January 21, 2013, in the amount of, we HOPE, about $16,000. We trust that you will spend it quickly to help CHANGE this recession into a new era of never-ending debt and prosperity.

Sincerely,

"DRAFT"

Humanoid Bureaucratos, PhD
3rd Under Assistant to the Secretary of the
Department of Equal Financial Opportunity

 


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GE Christenson

Author: GE Christenson

GE Christenson aka Deviant Investor
www.deviantinvestor.com

GE Christenson

I am a retired accountant and business manager who has 30 years of experience studying markets, investing, and trading futures and stocks. I have made and lost money during my investing career, and those successes and losses have taught me about timing markets, risk management, government created inflation, and market crashes. I currently invest for the long term, and I swing trade (in a trade from one to four weeks) stocks and ETFs using both fundamental and technical analysis. I offer opinions and commentary, but not investment advice.

Years ago I did graduate work in physics (all but dissertation) so I strongly believe in analysis, objective facts, and rational decisions based on hard data. I currently live in Texas with my wife. Previously, I spent 20 years in Barrow, Alaska, the northernmost community in the United States, 330 miles north of the Arctic Circle.

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